So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
