I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
