When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
