Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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