When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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