Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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