i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
