do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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