Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
