"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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