I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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