I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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