Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
