I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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