I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
