watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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