At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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