one two three fourrrrnication!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
