Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
