At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
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Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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