you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
