I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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