U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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