The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
