So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
wow bdsm is so cute
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
