She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
