I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
