that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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