I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
