So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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