is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The Olympian is in my bed
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
