Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
