Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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