he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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