Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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