she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How external is "for external use only"?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
