i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
