So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
