What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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