giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
