i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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