Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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