she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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