u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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