Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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