I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
