too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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