He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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