Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
