Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
