were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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