I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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