I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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