i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
