I'm jealous of your bromance
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We had to coat check the pizza.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
