On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
