The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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