handjob tips. give me some.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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