Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to calm my uterus...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
