if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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