Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
