I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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