Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
