i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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