come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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