that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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